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Christmas is a time for gathering with family – from near and far – and this makes it an ideal time to have the big family discussions you may not have had an opportunity for (or have been avoiding!).
If people are coming from long distances to attend the festivities, they may not have seen family for some time and may not be too aware of parents ageing and being less able to manage the way they did previously.
If Mum and Dad are getting older and things seem to be changing it could be a good time to have discussions around what might need to be done in the future.
Discussions you need to have with parents
Is this their forever home or are there intentions to move at some point? If your parents are nearing the age where they are finding their current residence is becoming a little too much to manage on their own, it might be time to talk to them about their options. These options might include organising some care in their home, someone to help them manage household tasks, meals, transport or managing health issues.
It may also include a prelude to a move to a retirement village or care home. To obtain government assistance – an ACAT (Aged Care Assessment Team) test will need to be organised. This can take months for an appointment so if a family member needs one you should book in as early as you can.
As needs arise, further ACAT tests will need to be carried out but it is important to enter the system as soon as practically possible.
Among the family it is also good to work out a family care plan – who will take charge your parent’s health, finances and potential moves? These are difficult conversations and best to have face to face.
Are the right legal documents in place to help them in the future?
Power of Attorney
This is a document that appoints a trusted person to act on your behalf to manage your assets and financial affairs if you are travelling, or ill or have an accident.
You still control your own affairs and can revoke the Power of Attorney at any time.
The General Power of Attorney becomes invalid when you die or lose the mental capacity to manage your own affairs.
An Enduring Power of Attorney will remain valid during your lifetime but will become invalid upon your death.
This is when the executor of your Will assumes control of your assets and financial affairs.
Is the Will up to date with the right people administering it?
For example, it’s often a good idea to have a Power of Attorney in place, not just for ageing parents but for other family members also.
Discussing Wills and end of life plans are always difficult to talk about but perhaps with a gathering of the extended family the discussion could be raised by the child/children, that parents are most likely to listen to.
Even if there are Wills in place they need to be revisited on a semi-regular basis – perhaps every five years, and more regularly if there are significant changes to your executor(s) or beneficiaries.
Many people nominate contemporaries as executors so as you age you should check that your executor is still up to and up for the role.
And if there are any new relationships with your beneficiaries you might like to clarify any bequests that you are making. Do you want to include a new partner of one of your children, or do you want to make sure new grandchildren are included.
Please note, that if someone has recently been married their prior Will becomes invalid.
And if there is no Will in place, the public trustee will oversee the distribution of assets – which will be time consuming and perhaps not in the way the distribution may have been intended.
It is recommended to work with a lawyer in writing a Will as they will be able to guide you through any potential ambiguity and complications.
Where is everything?
Someone needs to know where everything is in case of reduced mental capacity or death. This includes the Power of Attorney, Will, bank accounts, assets, passwords, deeds, and any other relevant financial material.
It is likely that it won’t want to be disclosed at any time, but it should be kept where people can access it when the time comes – perhaps with a lawyer and/or financial adviser.
There’s no point having a Will if no one can find it.
While the Will is primarily a document listing your assets and how you want it distributed it is sometimes used to include funeral wishes, but it’s a good idea to have this information in a separate document as it may not be seen until after the funeral.
You might like to discuss with family what kind of funeral you would like and any special requests.
Enduring guardianship
If there’s a chance of having a quiet chat to parents about what kind of medical intervention they would like, and who they would nominate to make decisions on their behalf if they were no longer able may also be a good topic to cover.
These discussions are not easy and may be very emotional, but they may prevent arguments and fallings out down the track if they are not discussed while everyone involved can particulate while they are able.
The Money & Life website is operated by the Financial Advice Association (FAAA). The views expressed in this article are those of the author and not those of the FAAA. The FAAA does not endorse or otherwise assume responsibility for any financial product advice which may be contained in the article. Nor does it endorse or assume responsibility for the information.
