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Why is estate planning so hard? And what you can do to make it easier…

Estate planning is one of those tasks almost everyone means to get to, yet many only face it during a crisis. Families often describe the same moment. A parent dies, the surviving spouse and children open a cupboard or a laptop, and suddenly they are trying to reconstruct a life from scattered paperwork, half-remembered details and password guesses. Grieving and guessing at the same time.

We all want to protect the people we love, yet estate planning rarely feels urgent. Behavioural science helps explain why. Once you recognise the patterns that slow you down, it becomes much easier to take simple, confidence-building steps.

Why estate planning feels hard

Present bias

We tend to pay more attention to tasks with immediate payoff. Estate planning delivers its value later, often for someone else, so we quietly push it. One way to shift this bias is to focus on what it gives you today. A sense of order, less background stress and the comfort of knowing you have taken care of your family.

Status quo bias

Doing nothing feels safe because it is familiar. Many people tell themselves they will get around to it eventually. Often the breakthrough comes from doing one small first step. Listing your accounts or checking your super nomination can be enough to create momentum.

Optimism bias

Most of us assume we have plenty of time. This feeling exists in every age group. Early planning creates a safety net that protects the people you care about, even if life changes unexpectedly.

Emotional discomfort

Thinking about incapacity or death can feel heavy, so people naturally avoid it. Once you start the process, the conversations turn out to be far more warm, practical and reassuring than expected.

Understanding these patterns is the first step toward overcoming them. The second step is knowing exactly what to do.

Estate planning at every age

Estate planning is not something that begins at 65. It begins the moment someone depends on you or your decisions extend beyond yourself. It’s not about the imminence of your death. It’s about the complexity of your life, and what that would mean for the ones you leave behind if something were to happen for you: And with our complex, more invisible digital lives, the need to start earlier has never been greater.

In your 30s

Many people have young children, mortgages or shared income. A will, a clear super nomination and a plan for childcare and finances can prevent enormous complexity later.

In your 40s

Life becomes more layered. Blended families, ageing parents, business ownership or investments bring extra responsibility. Updating your will and documenting your assets and liabilities becomes especially important.

In your 50s

Attention often shifts to retirement planning and long-term health. Planning your health outcomes and funeral isn’t a morbid thing to do – it’s an act of kindness so that your loved ones aren’t left guessing (and possibly in conflict) about what you would have really wanted.

Trigger moments

Life changes are better signals than age. Review your plan when you experience:

• Marriage
• Separation
• Buying or selling a home
• Birth of a child or grandchild
• Starting a business
• A significant diagnosis
• A change in family relationships

Planning after a diagnosis is possible, but it is also the hardest moment to do it. Earlier is easier, calmer and clearer.

Your essential estate planning checklist

1. Create or update your will

Your will sets out who manages your estate and who receives your assets. If your will is older than a few years or your circumstances have changed, review it. Learn more on what to include here.

2. Review your superannuation and insurance nominations

Super and some insurance benefits follow the nomination held with the provider. This can override your will. Check that the right person is nominated and confirm whether it is binding, non-binding or expired.

3. Make a simple list of assets and liabilities

Families can lose days or even months trying to locate accounts and assets. A short, clear list of your bank accounts, super, investments, property and insurance details saves enormous stress.

Most wills require probate. Probate requires an accurate list of assets and liabilities. Because this changes over time, it does not belong in the will itself. A separate document or secure digital tool is ideal.

4. Capture your bills and ongoing commitments

Bills and subscriptions continue after death until someone closes or transfers them. A list of utilities, loans, credit cards, insurance policies, memberships and subscriptions is invaluable.
If you prefer to avoid ongoing admin, consider a secure open banking tool that keeps this information updated automatically.

5. Plan for your digital life

Email, cloud storage, investment platforms, social media and loyalty programs all need attention. While you can create a  passwords document, a password manager with instructions to its location is not only more secure, but it will save you those pesky “lost password” moments.

6. Put in place powers of attorney and health directives

These documents protect you during life, not just after. They allow trusted people to make legal, financial and medical decisions if you cannot.

7. Document your personal wishes

Funeral preferences, cultural traditions, care arrangements for dependants or pets and any messages you want to leave. These help reduce confusion and give loved ones comfort.

8. Store everything safely and tell someone where it is

A plan only works when it can be found. Keep your will secure and ensure your executor knows where the original is stored. Gather supporting documents or use a digital storage solution such as BillWill. Let your financial adviser or solicitor know how to access it if needed.

Taking your first step

Estate planning becomes easier the moment you begin. Choose one small task that feels most relevant or imagine which task would be hardest for your family if you were not here.

Each step creates clarity and reduces the burden on the people you love. One day they will feel the care behind your preparation and the relief of having clear guidance when they need it most. Find out more about what actually happens when you pass away here.

Get in touch with Colin at BillWill or Find a Planner near you!

The Money & Life website is operated by the Financial Advice Association Australia (FAAA). The views expressed in this article are those of the author and not those of the FAAA. The FAAA does not endorse or otherwise assume responsibility for any financial product advice which may be contained in the article. Nor does it endorse or assume responsibility for the information.

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Colin Jowell is the founder of BillWill, a digital Letter of Wishes and estate-planning support service that helps financial advisers, lawyers and families simplify life administration and reduce stress during moments of loss or incapacity. With a background in behavioural science and more than twenty years in strategy and customer experience, Colin focuses on making estate planning clearer, calmer and easier for ordinary families. He works with financial advisers, estate lawyers and funeral professionals to improve how Australians prepare, organise and communicate essential information. Also an accredited Wills and Estates mediator and Principal of consultancy Good Behaviour, Colin speaks nationally on the impact of stress on decision making, how to reduce cognitive load, and how to help families make well-supported choices long before and during times of crisis.
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